Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Stuff Stephen Hates #7: The most annoying sound in the world; or, SAY BITCH BE COOL!

Goddamn. I don’t have a lot of time, but I just need to cover this one while its fresh. Fucking Goddamn I CAN NOT STAND the noise that kids make when they’re unhappy. Tho, I guess, it serves an important biological/evolutionary purpose. The kids yell needs to be imposible to ignore so that hwen it happens, adults everywhere must…MUST…listen. But shit, its fucking amazing. However, I think I’ve noticed that the scream is far more tolerable when it seems justified in some way. Like the kid’s hungry. Or the kid’s hurt. Or anything. But when its just some fucking brat who can’t fucking sit still because his mom won’t pay attention to him, then… then… it is at its worst. When its some kid who was just told he couldn’t have a toy… then…. Holy shit, its like a siren that cuts through any other sound and stabs your brain like a white hot spear. There could be fucking war going on. A bomb could have just detonated 3 feet from me and I miraculously survived…and I’d hear that scream and it would still piss me off. I could be battling ninjas and I’d hear it. But, if I were battling ninjas, I’d run over there and slice the little fucker’s head off. Scream now, brat! HAHAHAH!

Gotta study, or I’d write more. Thank god, that kid’s leaving now. I think kids should be kept thoroughly intoxicated for the first 3-5 years of life. Clearly, Aldos Huxley was onto something with Soma… One for me to forget the pain… one for the brat to shut him up… one more for me because my pain’s big.

Out.

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